I know I haven't posted in awhile. I started a few times and then something would get my attention or I couldn't word what I wanted to say in the right way.
So much has has seemed to happened but more emotionally I think.

It's so hard when trust is broken. When friendship is broken. Lying is so ugly and hurtful. So is demeaning. It's so hard because one of my learning disabilities is putting into words what is in my mind or heart. But to know someone and think they are your friend or someone you can trust and to find out they have been lying to you and have broken your trust.. Then to have someone else do it to you again a short time later.. Actually to think about it.. Its been quite a few people.. and a few of them in the church!!

I'm the type of person that loves and loves to see people smile and laugh. I do what I can to make someone smile and to be their friend. I despise demeaning. I don't even like or at my BEST try not to even call my own boys "brats" or names that will put them down. At times I might say "You are ACTING like brats" or something but not "you are a brat". There are a FEW times I have slipped because lately these boys have really been mean and hurtful to me. Tho I do apologize to them. I've seen the SHOCK on their face when I've slipped and said something hurtful to them because they know I DON'T do it.

BUT the CHURCH is suppose to be somewhere we can go for a refuge. YES I know even people in church aren't perfect. But even those people that did those things haven't apologized. The church is suppose to help it's members. If someone has a need then we pray for them and if someone is able then they should help that person. If someone needs a ride then someone can pick them up so they can be in church. If someone doesn't have food, then people can take them food. If someone has had surgery, then people in the church can get together and maybe plan some meals to take to the family to help them out or if its the wife/mother then maybe some of the ladies can get together and go clean the house or help take care of her kids so she can recover.. There is always things the church can do to help those who are in need. How about even just sending a card and saying "We are thinking of you". How about the pastor and his family? What has the church done for them? Do you realize how much load they carry? How bout taking them a meal once in a while or sending them an encouraging card? Praying with them at the altar? They carry the load of the church on their shoulders!!

Guess I got a little off track.. Guess that's my ADD kicking in lol and the boys got home from school and it distracts me. lol

But.. When trust and friendship are broken, it kinda makes you wonder if you can trust the next person or friend. Or even another church I was at the pastor had been told to leave because he was found to have been doing illegal financial stuff. :o( So then when I finally got my van running again and found a new church to go to, the devil starts throwing thoughts in my mind about "Can I trust this pastor?" "Is he going to be trustworthy?"

Then after dealing with this a lady who I thought was a friend online who I thought was dealing of multiple cancers and had a son, come to find out didn't have cancer after all and was lying to everyone, INCLUDING her own family!! I had trusted her and was posting updates about her on my other site.

One of Strongs definitions of Trust is: to have faith (in, upon, or with respect to, a person or thing), that is, credit; by implication to entrust (especially one’s spiritual well being to Christ): - believe (-r), commit (to trust), put in trust with.

As I've told the Lord all along and with all that's happened the past few months.. HE is the ONLY one I can FULLY trust!! I know HE is the ONLY one that will NEVER hurt me or lie to me. When I have said anything to him or strayed, he will ALWAYS be there waiting for me to run back into his arms. :o) He is my bestest friend. He is my TRUE FRIEND!!

Yet we will go on!! God is GOOD!! :o) My van is running again (for now lol). Since Sept it has broke down 3 times I think. First it was the drive line and was down for 2 months. Then got it fixed and the master cylinder finally totally gave out. My brother fixed that. Then last week it wouldn't start and my pastor at my new church came over and put new battery terminals on and tried jumping it and it wouldn't start. Then the boys dad came to take Caleb to his doc appt ( that's another story... uggg ).. but he worked on it and had to put a new battery and starter on it and NOW it runs! :o) So we are on the road again. :o)

Our CHRISTmas was good. I actually had the boys on CHRISTmas which was a first in a LONG time. They usually are with their dad. We had spent the morning here and then went to my brothers house for the day. Then the day after CHRISTmas the boys left with their dad to go to Disneyland for a few days. That was my present!! A few days of peace and quiet!! :o) lol







And here are some of the ornaments I made for the boys for a yearly tradition CHRISTmas gift..



Now the holidays are over and we are getting appts going again. Adam and Noah FINALLY see the GI specialist next week!! We've had this appt scheduled for I think 2-3 months!! They both are complaining about their stomachs tho Noah especially. He has dealt with bad stomach cramps for 1 1/2 yrs and Noah normally has a HIGH pain tolerance so for him to feel pain then he must be in pain!!! I'm still upset and frustrated that UCDavis denied them even tho they have been patients there since they have been born and Noah was a patient in GI a few years ago. YET they wont see them!! grrrrrrrrrrr

I'm working on getting Adam and my jaw cysts taken care of. I've got to see what to do about mine. Adam has CCS to help take care of his bill but with the oral surgeon we see I can't afford the $200.+ after the insurance pays to cover mine and lately my smell is doing weird things and not sure if its my cysts growing and messing with that or not.

We are going out of town this weekend!! We haven't done that in over a year!! At least I'm HOPING to! It's Caleb's birthday on Saturday also. He doesn't want to but we are working on him.

Anyway.. I think that's about it for now.. Remember to appreciate your friends, church and your pastor! PRAY for them and do things to help make their day! I pray for you all and your families. I'll try to do better at keeping up with this. lol

Blessings,
Gina Marie